Zzzzzzzzzz

Someone remind me what it feels like to sleep through an entire night...

I haven't done that for almost 14 years now. I adopted Ashley on her second birthday, and she will very soon be 16 years old. That is the explanation for the 14 years of interrupted sleep.

I define a good night as one when Ash is only up 2-3 times. A bad night finds her up every hour. I'm not sure of all the reasons that she doesn't sleep well, but her seizures probably play a role as does the fact that she is blind. And some nights, it seems like she gets up just so I will come to her room for a visit.

Some of the time I can handle the erratic sleep schedule, and other times, it wears me down to the depths of exhaustion. I'm in deep right now...

So, when you go to bed tonight, if you say prayers, ask that God gives me the strength to weather the lack of sleep. I would ask that you pray that Ashley sleep through the night, but I know that if she ever did, I would still get up just to make sure she is still breathing!

Not Again....

There’s not much I don’t love about being an adult, being a parent to many kids, being what I suppose ‘grown up’ means.

I have no problem with all the medical interventions my children need. I can change a G-tube in under a minute. I know how to give injections. I know many details about at least 25 different medications – none of which are my own.

I don’t mind doling out needed discipline. I don’t mind helping a child learn a skill – even if that helping goes on and on. I don’t mind watching baseball when I would rather be watching Dancing With The Stars.

I don’t mind paying the bills each month or growing my own vegetables or cleaning the bathroom – a lot because I have three boys in the family.

I love to cook and I always present meals in a pleasing manner on a plate. I can make a mean chocolate chip cookie – everyone, including my coworkers, loves my brownies, and my apple pie recipe won first place at our State Fair one year.

I have a few problems killing bugs, but as long as I have enough bug spray in which to drown them, I am ok. I can change a plug on the vacuum cleaner cord, and caulk a bathtub. I get the oil changed in my vehicle every 3000 miles, and I can sew curtains and clothes.

I decorate our home for every season, and I grow enough herbs to last a year and to share with others. I know how to get almost any stain out of clothing, and I know that bleach is one of a mother’s best friends.

But there is one ‘grown up’ task I abhor. It comes around every single week no matter how much I try to avoid it, and it consumes way too much of my time. GROCERY SHOPPING.

I don’t mind planning meals or listing the things I need to purchase. It’s the actual act of going to the store, walking the aisles, picking things from the shelves and putting them in my cart, taking them out of the cart and putting them on the conveyor belt, watching the cashier scan my items, being asked if I have any coupons, watching the bagger put things in bags, taking them to my car, loading them in my car, taking them out of the car and stacking them on the counter, putting everything away, and THEN STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN IN JUST 7 SHORT DAYS.

With six people in the family, grocery shopping and the resultant tasks can easily take 2 hours. That’s two hours I could have been reading – or playing with Ashley – or stroking the cat – or watching the fish swim in their tank – or ironing clothes – or going out to eat – or most importantly, sleeping.

Two hours a week – 104 hours a year – and if one lives to, let’s say 85 years old, over 6000 hours in a lifetime.

I know we have to eat, but I am ready for the Jetson’s approach to meals – touch a button and up pops your food.

If anyone would like to psychoanalyze me to figure out why I dislike grocery shopping so much, please feel free. Maybe some answers would help me…

Season Over

Four children with IEPs. Six meetings in the last six weeks. But I am done for this school year!!!

It’s so interesting to me how different IEP teams conduct meetings differently. Now all these are in the same school district, a school district that is OCD about following the rules (except when they don’t).

For Jessica’s IEP, the team just passed the document around via email. We had our discussions via email, and appropriate changes were made. Then I signed the document electronically and sent it to school electronically.

Ronnie’s IEP meeting, the first held for him in this school district, involved 16 people and two attorneys. The attorneys were not for the reason you probably suspect, but for now, I can’t share anymore. The final result however was that 2 weeks later, a great IEP had been developed for Ronnie’s transition to his new school.

Ashley’s IEP meeting was pretty run of the mill. Of course, that has not always been the case, but I think we are finally re-establishing good working relationships. Until high school, her IEP meetings were always contentious, lasted hours, and often ended in mediation and once in due process. But this year was fine. She has a good IEP and next school year is looking to be a positive experience, much like this first year of high school.

Then, we had ESY IEP meetings for both Ashley and Ronnie. Again, no problems and good results.

Today I finished up with Corey’s IEP meeting. Corey’s meeting was only attended by me, the case manager, and a general education teacher. Of course, we were missing an administrator, but I was too tired of meetings to quibble about that. Corey’s meeting was interesting because of the contrast between Corey’s actual abilities and his motivation to do a good job, or even a passable job, at school. It’s tough to write goals and objectives when the primary reason Corey is failing 11th grade is lack of motivation.

Also, because Corey can’t plan and imagine a future any further than tomorrow, we did beef up the IEP with objectives requiring him to explore and consider life after high school. I am so worried that he will eventually squeak through high school, and then have absolutely no place to go. College isn’t looking likely. The military, his first choice, is even questionable. I proposed to the team that we hit hard on some vocational skills and they agreed. So, we ended up with another good IEP.

Other than all the time I had to take off from work, this year’s IEP season wasn’t too bad. But I am really, really glad it is over!

My Prayer for the 5th Day After the Snow Storm

Dear God,

I have truly enjoyed the gift of snow You sent last weekend. Thirteen inches! Wow! And to think that we had fourteen inches just 6 weeks ago.

The kids and I really enjoyed Your gift – the beautiful fat flakes of snow falling from the sky – the way our yard and driveway resembled a fluffy down blanket – and the way the sunlight made it glisten like diamonds. When You send a gift, it truly is a magnificent gift!

You probably knew that we would enjoy making hot cocoa while watching movies and staying in our pajamas all day long. However, by the third day, our pajamas were getting a little smelly. And that hot cocoa – the chocolate scent still wafts from where it was spilled on my carpet.

At least the kids had plenty of time to play their video games – killing and maiming all the bad guys and zombies on their virtual planets. But we also had time to play all those board games that seldom come out of our closet – Clue, Monopoly, Fact or Crap, Things, etc. I never realized what little cheaters my children could be when bored though.

And all that food I stocked up on just before Your gift arrived – well, it’s all gone and the kids have resorted to eating their cereal with KoolAid and their toast with spaghetti sauce. Did You know that brownies made with bits of Captain Crunch in them are not all bad?

So, thank you again, God, but please could I ask just one more favor? My city could use some more snow plows and some more road salt. If they had that, perhaps the school buses could get into our neighborhoods and take all our little darlings back to school. And maybe, just maybe, I could have a little bit of hair left after pulling out most of it this past week.

You know all that “Give us this day, our daily bread” stuff? Forget the bread today, dear God, and send the school buses.

Thank you, Amen, Please……