Yet Another Disrespectful Movie

I really hadn’t planned on going to see the new movie with Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman titled, “The Change-Up.” To me it looks like just another silly switching bodies type of movie and after Freaky Friday, I think I have had my fill of that. But there is another even bigger reason I won’t see it.



Just like the movie Tropic Thunder, The Change-Up attempts to get laughs at the expense of people with disabilities. In one exchange early in the movie, Reynolds’ character asks Bateman’s character about his young twins. “Why can’t they talk yet? Are they retarded or something?” he says. Reynolds follows up with, “the one on the left looks a little Downsy.”



The Special Olympics organization is calling for an apology from Universal Pictures. The ARC is calling for an apology, and the disability community is up in arms and expressing their distaste on blogs and social networking sites.



It is long past time for this disrespect to stop. Even if we all boycott the movie, it probably won’t be noticed because it is generally a stinker of a movie. But, if you have a way to express your outrage – if you are offended – if you want movie executives to stop trying to get laughs at the expense of those we love, I urge you to let your opinion be heard.

Not Buying What You're Selling

So, yesterday I told you about Ashley's hand injury - the mystery injury that I got no note or phone call about. I sent an email, and here was the response I got:

I am very sorry to hear of Ashley’s injuries. Thank for contacting me and alerting me of your observations and concerns.

I have conferred with her assistant, the classroom staff as well as the bus driver and bus aide. No one, including myself, witnessed any accidents nor did we notice Ashley crying to indicate that she was in pain or distress. Neither I, nor any of the above mentioned staff, noticed any bruises on Ashley prior to her leaving our care on Thursday afternoon.

I took look at right hand today and did not notice any swelling but did notice that one of her fingers had a dark mark/bruise near the fingernail. It appears to be an old bruise and must have occurred during the injury you are alerting us of. I saw no other indications of injury anywhere else on Ashley prior to her leaving the classroom today.

Ashley is under the constant supervision of her 1:1 assistant thorough out the school day. The classroom staff, as well as myself, are also on hand to assist her as needed. Please be assured that Ashley’s safety and well-being is of utmost importance to us all and we will continue to work very hard to insure that she is safe and appropriately attended to.

Please let me know if you have additional concerns or questions.

I still have no explanation for the mystery injury, but I guess I'm supposed to feel all warm and fuzzy knowing just how safe she is while at summer school. Tell me, would you feel all warm and fuzzy after reading that email????

(Oh, and btw, Miss Summer School teacher, I think that the word should be 'ensure' not 'insure' in your last full paragraph...unless of course you are writing an insurance policy for Ashley, which given the mystery injury, might not be a bad idea.)

Hilarious...Sort Of

Two weeks ago, the receptionist from Ronnie's dentist office called to let us know that it was time to make his next dental appointment. I was at work, but Chip answered the phone. The receptionist asked for Ronnie.

Chip said, "He's deaf."

The receptionist apologized profusely, and just kept saying, "I'm so sorry." Chip thought it was a little strange, and so did I when he recounted the conversation to me. But we're both used to people making strange comments when confronted with a person who has a disability, so we just shook our heads and didn't think anymore of it.

Two days later, I called the office to schedule the appointment, and was given 10am yesterday.

Chip took Ronnie yesterday morning, and when he arrived was told that Ronnie didn't have an appointment. He texted me, and I assured him that I had spoken with someone at the dental office, and we did indeed set up that time. The receptionist insisted that we hadn't, and said the doctor couldn't see him at that time. I asked Chip to just reschedule, and that's when the 'mystery' was revealed.

During the initial phone call when Chip said Ronnie was deaf, the receptionist thought he said 'dead.' Ronnie was marked deceased in their files, and thus the appointment didn't show on their schedules. It then became very clear why the receptionist kept saying how sorry she was during the phone call with Chip.

The dentist did decide to see Ronnie yesterday morning, perhaps feeling very bad about marking him as 'deceased' in their file. As least we didn't have to reschedule!

There Sometimes Are Stupid Questions

I get this question so many times and never have I understood it:

Does Ashley go to school?
I'm thinking to myself, "What a stupid question. Of course she goes to school. I think it would be against the law for me to not send her to school."
What I answer to the person, "Yes, she goes to school."

Oh, is it a special school?
I'm thinking to myself, "Of course it's a special school, my sweet Ashley goes there."
What I answer to the person, "It's our neighborhood school."

Really? With all the other kids in your neighborhood?
I'm thinking to myself, "Why wouldn't she go with all the other kids?"
What I answer to the person, "Yes, with all her friends from the neighborhood."

Well, isn't that special. It's wonderful they let her do that.
I'm thinking to myself, "Idiot, what an ass you are."
What I answer to the person, "Actually, it's wonderful that Ashley lets all her friends go to the same school as she does. She's very particular about the company she keeps."

Awww, well she's so sweet.
I'm thinking to myself, "And you are not someone I want to converse with any further. What a jerk."
What I answer to the person, "Yes, she is very sweet."

One of these days I may consider taking the time to explain to one of the questioners why their belief system is wrong. But then again, they probably wouldn't listen.

Don't Believe Them, Artie

I didn't start out as a Gleek, but I am now. I'm two seasons behind on the wildly popular show, Glee, but I am making my way throught Season 1 on Blueray right now. I am loving the show, and try to fit in a new episode whenever I can.

Today I watched two episodes. The first included a story about Rachel (the glee club's biggest star) getting very upset because she had tonsilitis. Even though her doctor recommended she have her tonsils removed, she just couldn't because she believed she would lose her singing voice. And in Rachel's mind, the only thing she has going for her is her voice. Without it, she feels she would be nothing.

But another glee club star, Finn, took Rachel to see a friend of his. Finn and his friend used to play football together. The friend, however, was injured and was paralyzed from the chest down. The friend convinced Rachel that she was more than just her voice, and that life, though different, wasn't so bad. Rachel bought it, and the episode ended happily ever after.

The next episode, however, seemed to send the exact opposite message. Artie, the glee club member in a wheelchair, succumbed to the flirting of one of the girls in the club, and decided he wanted to dance. Not just a different kind of dancing that involved his wheelchair, but real stand-on-your-feet dancing. The girl researched a lot of medical trials and convinced Artie that it would be possible for him to walk and eventually dance.

Then, unlike with the ex-football player from the previous episode, everyone, including teachers and guidance counselors, convinced Artie that he had to accept his limitations and stop dreaming of walking. The episode ended with Artie telling the girl that he wasn't going to walk, or dance, or even be able to sink a basketball. The girl danced with an able-bodied boy as Artie gazed sadly off to the side of the stage.

So why would the writers promote dreams and a no-limits lifestyle for one character, and then in the next episode have Artie accept that he was different and shouldn't dream? Maybe the answer will be revealed in later episodes, but for the first time, I really didn't like Glee.

Really, Jennifer

Dear Ms. Aniston,

I really liked the character you played on Friends. And, although I haven't seen many of your movies, you know, the ones where you play pretty much the same Rachel character, I did feel bad for you when things didn't work out with Brad and John and Vince.

Your newest movie looks interesting, especially the concept of women having babies even without being married or in a relationship. In fact, I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that you have decided to find a sperm donor and become a parent yourself.

However, if you do become a parent, I really, really hope for the sake of your child, that he/she is born without disabilities because I really don't think after your comment on the Regis and Kelly Show that you would be a good parent to such a child.

Just saying,

Ashley's Mom

Special School, My A**

At the end of each visit, saying goodbye gets harder and harder.

Johnny visited in our home this weekend. It felt very right having him here. It felt like an empty room in our hearts was soon to be occupied. There was boy time - there was alone time - there was Mom time. It all balanced and it all worked.

It's time to make a reality out of the whens and soons. It's time for Johnny to move home with us, and stay. And that could happen as soon as this upcoming weekend if his guardian ad litem (attorney appointed by the court for a foster child) stops insisting that Johnny be institutionalized.

Yep, I said institutionalized. Why a seemingly intelligent person believes sending Johnny to a 'special school' is better than living with a family that loves him and will take care of him is a question so ludicrous that I can't begin to imagine an answer.

Poor Little Sick Disabled Girl

I’ve warned Ashley’s teachers. Amy, Ashley’s intervener, has warned Ashley’s teacher. Yet they still fall for Ashley’s manipulation.

Yes, Ashley is very cute. Yes, that sweet smile will melt your heart and make you want to do anything you can to keep the smiles coming. Yes, your heart melts when she leans in to kiss your cheek and sign “I love you.” And yes, she knows exactly what effect she has on people.

Ashley wasn’t in the mood to go to school yesterday. It was a gloomy, rainy morning and she preferred to stay curled up on the couch next to me. But, when the bus arrived, her cute self had to get up and get on the bus. You see, I am somewhat immune to her antics. But the staff at this new school is not, and they are not heeding our warnings.

Ashley acted tired when she got to school. She kept putting her head down on the desk. When her well-meaning aide and teachers asked her what was wrong, she signed that her head hurt and her throat hurt. “Poor thing”, they thought and immediately carted her off to the clinic. They told the school nurse that Ashley just wasn’t acting like her normal cheery self. They, and the school nurse, decided she must be sick and then decided to call me to come and pick her up.

She had no fever. She wasn’t vomiting. She had no diarrhea. But because she just wasn’t “being herself”, she was allowed to lie down in the quiet, dark nurse’s office, and immediately she took a nap.

I arrived to get her. I woke her up, and the first thing I saw was her sly smile. Then came the giggle. She knew she had won – I was there and I was taking her home. (Once the decision is made by the school nurse that a child needs to go home, the decision will not be reversed.) It was amazing how much better she seemed as we walked to the car. And her good spirits continued through the afternoon and evening.

Ashley knows how to manipulate. Just because she has disabilities, it does not mean she is stupid. She is a teenager, and somehow very soon, her teachers and aides need to understand what she is doing.

Somehow I need to help them learn how to unwrap themselves from her little finger!

Today I am thankful that the rain has stopped and the sun is out. We haven't seen the sun much recently.